Primo is turning 1 soon! I can’t believe it’s that fast! Few months ago, he was just this little baby, and now he has his own personality (and other ugali na namana kay Daddy nya I believe).
When I gave birth to Primo via CS, he was not immediately roomed in since the doctors noticed that he is breathing rapidly. They decided to put him first in the NICU to monitor his condition. I really don’t know what to feel. I am trying my best to be calm and not to worry to much. I just pray for his health all the time and trust Him that everything will be ok.
The first time I get to see his face was during the unang yakap and first latch in Providence Hospital’s DR, after that, it took 2 days before I get to see him again. My husband, Di, would visit him at NICU and take pictures for me to see. And just like I expected, he looks just like his Daddy.
I actually do not remember why I was never called at NICU to breastfeed him. What I did remember is my OB told me before I gave birth, is to exclusively breastfeed my baby and worst case scenario if in case he needed to be put in the NICU, the doctors will give him sucrose solution or something like that.
While waiting for the doctor’s go signal to breastfeed Primo in the NICU, I try to prepare myself (and my milk). So that when it’s time, I’ll have milk for Primo already. About a month before my scheduled CS, I am already taking malunggay capsules twice a day. And a week before my delivery, I bought lactation cookies and bring it in the hospital. I am thinking this will come handy. I am actually one of those lucky ones who doesn’t really had a hard time getting into the “breastfeeding groove”. I felt I am producing milk on Day 2. This is when I also started to eat normal food again after giving birth. I massaged my breast all day thinking it will trigger the milk production more. And maybe it did. When we were called to breastfeed Primo at NICU, I already have milk for him. And my breast were swollen and painful. Thank God Primo latched properly with the help of the NICU nurse. I remember thinking, wow, so this is what breastfeeding looks like. It’s surreal.My thought was, I needed to produce milk because Primo needs me. He needs to be stronger and he needs to feel better so he can stay with us in our room.I am thankful I produced enough for him. He nursed for a good 30 minutes before finally unlatching. Then, we had to go back to the NICU every 2-3 hours all day and night to nurse him. We decided to extend our stay at the hospital so we can check on him and nurse him. I remember how painful it is walking to the NICU with my stitches fresh from the operation barely 2 days ago. I literally had to hold my tummy up because I feel my intestines and all internal organs would drop. It’s.so.painful. But, I thought. My son needs me. I need to do this. Of course, I can not survive this without my husband helping me and supporting me all the way. I don’t know what to do without him there.
As a new mom, I really try my best to know what to expect on this journey. But really, nothing can ever prepare you for this. There are times I am so confused and other times I feel not myself at all. Sometimes, I would suddenly panic because I do not understand what’s happening. Waaaaah!! Crazy really.
Primo would nurse for 30 minutes one feeding session, and then completely ignore the breast the next time. It’s like this for 2 days until he was finally roomed in on Day 3, and the nursing sessions became a little smoother. He would automatically latch even though he’s asleep. My problem is keeping my supply up with barely an hour of sleep in between nursing. This is when the lactation cookies became my life saver! Like Popeye’s spinach. Also, my nanay and in-law are there to the rescue : they would bring in soups with malunggay everyday. This helped me a lot.
Now, I am still breastfeeding. We are on a little over 11 months, and counting. I think this is the best thing I can give to our son right now. It’s one of the most fulfilling sacrifice a mother can make.To make sure the baby is healthy. To give him the best. I feel more than “feeding session”, our nursing time is our own little time together. Our way to get to know each other better each day. It’s a way I think of assuring him that, he’ll be ok while Mommy is here. I’m not actually sure how long will I breastfeed him, maybe as long as he needs me. ❤
Prayers|Patience|Beer 